Relationships, Sielsorg

Hart-loslating / Heart-detachment

Verhoudings beurtkrag?

Ek is amper doodseker dat almal van ons wat in Suid-Afika woon die frustrasie ken van “loadshedding”, “blackout”, “power-down” of wat jy dit ook al wil noem. Die frustrasie daarvan is dat alles “af” is en dat jy baie min gedoen kan kry. Daar is letterlik krag vir niks. 

As ek so na verhoudings rondom my kyk dan lyk dit ook vir my asof daar ook “loadshedding” in meeste verhoudings beleef word. Die “spark” is weg, die “lig” is weg, die “krag” is weg, die “wil” is weg en die groot donkerte het in meeste verhoudings toegeslaan. Ons “oorleef” saam maar net ter wille van die kinders en ‘n paar ander mense en dinge. 

Dis dan wanneer ons begin om te beleef dat ons mekaar se harte iewers langs die lewenspad verloor het. Daar het hart-loslating plaasgevind. Vandag wil ek iets vir julle iets aanbeveel wat die wêreldse verskil kan maak. Ek wil julle uitdaag om elke dag hierdie volgende drie dinge vir mekaar te sê. Dit sal julle nie langer as 15 minute neem om dit vir mekaar te sê nie. Onthou, verkieslik net een sin, maar nie meer as 5 sinne nie.

1. Ek voel vandag …?

Hiermee nooi jy jou maat in jou hart in en deel daardie dinge wat in die hart rondlê met jou maat. Beskryf net die gevoel en wat vir die gevoel verantwoordelik is. Sonder om die lang messe in te lê. Die oomblik as jy begin met, want jy … dan is dit verby. Gee net die gevoel in jou hart ‘n naam en deel dit met jou maat.

2. Ek is lief vir jou want …!

Die eerste paar weke gaan dit heel maklik en dan moet ‘n mens mooi begin kyk en oplet en dan begin ‘n mens klomp dinge raaksien wat ‘n mens meeste van die tyd as van-self-sprekend aanvaar.

3. Ek sal dit waardeer as …!

Hier kom maak jy jou verwagtinge en hartsbegeertes aan jou maat bekend op ‘n lekker, nie konfronterende manier. Ongelukkig kan bitter min mense gedagtes lees en jou maat kan net weet wat is jou behoeftes as jy dit op ‘n gemaklike manier aangee.

Geniet dit, gaan doen dit en sien die verskil

Gaan kyk ook na die video wat ons op Lewe Lig se Fanpage vandag gelaai het. https://www.facebook.com/LeweLig/


Relationship-loadshedding

I’m almost certain that all of us who live in South Africa know the frustration of “load shedding”, “blackout”, “power-down” or whatever you want to call it. The frustration is that everything is “down” and that you can do very little. There is literally, power for nothing.

If I take a look at relationships around me then it also seems to me that there is also “load shedding” in most relationships. The “kick” is gone, the “light” is out, the “power” is off, the “will” to carry on, was lost somewhere and the great darkness has struck most relationships. We “survive” together just for the sake of the children and a few other people and things.

That’s when we begin to experience emotional detachment – losing of each other’s heart. Today I want to recommend something to you that can make a world of difference. I want to challenge you to communicate the following three things to each other on a daily basis. It won’t take you longer than 15 minutes to share this with your mate. Remember, preferably only one sentence, but not more than 5 sentences.

1. I feel today …?

With this you invite your partner into your heart and share those emotion that are lying around in your heart and mind. Just describe the feeling without justifying or accusing. Put the tongue knives away and just share your feelings. The moment you start with, because you … stop immediately because you are missing the point. Just give the feeling in your heart a name and share it with your partner.

2. I love you because …!

Usually, the first few weeks are quite easy. But after that, one has to start looking deeper and closer. And then, one starts to see a lot of things that one usually takes for granted.

3. I would appreciate it if …!

Here you make your expectations and heart desires known to your partner in a fun, non-confrontational way. Unfortunately, very few people can read minds and your partner can only know what your needs are if you communicate it in a loving and comfortable way.

Enjoy it, go do it and see the difference

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